From the Salt Lake Telegram
Salt Lake City, Utah
21 May, 1914

ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS REWARD!
FOR GETTING CHAFFEUR’S GOAT
_______________

In Which It Is Shown Conclusively That Lewis M.
Gillilan Is Blood Brother to Strickland
Of the Same Name.
_______________

    Although the new comet discovered by the United States naval observatory is traveling at tremendous speed through northwestern skies toward the star Capella, yet there is no danger of a collision.
    There will be no grand crash, and flying of sparks and sizzling of side lines.
    Nix on the frivolity.
    Over at the Salt Lake high school vice principal Lewis M. Gillilan, is interested in astronomy.  He and Principal George A. Eaton of the same institution were asked regarding this new sky sparkler.
    “There is absolutely no danger of any colliding between the comet and Capella,” said Professor Gillilan.
    “If the United States naval observatory could not [dect] that comet with all their up todate appliances, it will be pretty difficult for us to find it. However, the altitude here is favorable to locating it. The two observatories nearest us which might pick it up, are the Lowell at Flagstaff, Ariz., and the Lick on Mt. Hamilton.”
    Principal Eaton also was of the opinion that nothing spectacular would occur. He explained that Capella, the name of the star toward which the unknown comet is traveling, means “Goat” and that Auriga, the constellation in which it is found, means “Charioteer.”
    “That is a temperate zone constellation, as it is between Perseus and Gemini, which are respectively, north circumpolar and zodiacal constellations,” explained Professor Eaton just like that. “Capella is given in the books as a bright star in the constellation of Auriga. However, it takes an unusually bright star to be seen through the haze which hangs low to the horizon line, which is the point at which this had to be seen by the observatory. The comet likewise would have to be particularly bright.”
    So there is little likelihood of the chauffeur or charioteer of Auriger motor car letting any Mysterious Stranger of a comet hold up its Goat – even though it be a little goat!
    Professor Gillilan, who is a brother of Strickland W. Gillilan, former president of the American Press Humorists association.
    “Do you know there is a standing reward of $100, I believe, for anyone who first announces the appearance of a comet?  You don’t have to have a fancy lot of instruments, either.  A factory hand in England once looking out of the plant window at noon saw a comet in the sky, reported it, and received the award.”
    So keep the eyes open and see if you can get that reward!
    “On the other hand, there may be no comet at all,” said Professor Gillilan. “In which case it would  resemble my humorist brother’s little zone. His parents heard him smack away at supper one evening and saw him kissing his chubby fist and patting it against his chest. ‘What doing son?’ inquired his father. ‘O!’ responded the kid, “supper tastes so good I’m kissing is goodbye!’
    “Maybe we’ll have to kiss that comet goodbye!”

•	Transcription by Kate Maynard, 2011